Portland Trip details

The thought of recapping all the days events while I visited Portland puts me in a coma. I'll give some highlights, although there was a lot of napping. I think I've been a little braindead lately due to medicinal alterations.

1. On the train up the scenery was beautiful and I heard a mentally challenged man tell his mother on the phone that he wasn't going to buy food because he had enough flubber on his belly to last him. A few hours later, he bought a mini pizza, doritos, and a sprite. I had breakfast with a retired pastor and his wife who lived in Terre Haute.

2. Portland was as lovely as ever. I made applesauce with Alison and her friend. I took walks. I played with Jillian. Watched the Olympics. I took naps.

3. On Sunday a fellow told Jason that beards were out. I blurted out that soul patches were out. Turns out, the fellow had one.

4. I did a super awful job of taking care of Jillian one morning. We lost her doll (temporarily) in the park and I didn't give her the right foods. That was the day I stepped in dog poo.

5. I went shopping at my favorite Portland stores and joined Jason's life group. They talked about churchy stuff. It was fun.

6. On the way back down (see 2nd previous entry) I continued to be totally spacey and the trip wasn't quite as pleasant as the trip up. I dreampt there was a ghost on the train. The ghost of an old porter.

XOXO

Portland Trip

The View from the train.


Waterfront Park


"Jillian, where's your tongue?!"


Early morning baby

Coast Starlight Express Oddities

The following is an excerpt from my diary written August 26, 2008 on the Amtrak from Portland to Los Angeles. I recognize that it is peppered with judgementalism, but wish to give honest thoughts on short-term cohabitation inside a moving vessel.

"Couldn't be sitting by two more texas-chainsaw-massacrey people. I'm nearly afraid to write the details for fear they could look, but they dropped a greasy half-eaten sausage on my shoulder and then the man totally degraded the woman asking her again and again if she was sure he had everything and then making her remember and list the things she had in her hands when she entered the train. The old woman next to me says she'd take a bat to him if it were her husband. I agreed, but only furtively in case the couple should overhear and decide to turn on us.
...
Next morning. I grinded my teeth all night. The scary man swore out his wife while she tried to find something he wanted. (Evidentally, they had quite a bit stored with them as I couldn't recline my seat.) She pleaded with him, Melvin I think, to be patient. I think he might have hit her, but I didn't see. I only heard the sound of quick flesh on flesh. Once they settled down again, she read aloud to him from a book about the apocalypse and an interpretation of the book of Revelations. I can only imagine what they're like in the privacy of their own home.

Upon hearing I was hunting for a pillow, the man, wearing a leather wide-brimmed hat, kindly offered me tea, a discolored pillow that belonged to his currently-in-the-bathroom wife, and some quick witless jokes regarding my wine consumption and my choice to live in LA. He said he lived there in the 70s. When were the Manson murders?"

The past few days I've spent a lot of time thinking about insects. We've had a ton of fruit flies (serves us right for having dirty dishes) but they were in my bathroom too. We cleaned the kitchen, there's no food out, I've set up fly paper, and I've gone on killing rampages with a magazine. The cleanliness, fly paper, and killing have helped, however there are still too too many fruit flies. They fly around me when I enter my bathroom, they have a seat on clean dishes, and they hang from our ceilings. I also made another disturbing discovery when making a routine check on the fly paper.

Fleas. Why do we have fleas?! I've never seen one apart from the fly paper, but every time I look, there's another flea stuck to it!

A couple sundays ago I had lunch in the park with some church people:




EDIT: After further investigation, I no longer believe we have fleas. I'm now fairly sure we have flies, fruit flies, gnats, and mosquitoes. A small improvement!

Cuddle Party

Check it!

women are funny

I just got up from a nice sleep-in! The other night, a bunch of people came over to make a movie thats going to go up on Funny Or Die. Not up yet. I'll let you know. It involves leprosy.

I have a friend who says that women aren't funny and I said "you can go shut your face in half" and I don't want to go on about it as I have nothing to prove, but I think the following woman is one of the funniest these days. Out of everyone, not just the women, mind you. Presenting Kristen Wiig

More Desert Photos taken on slide film and cross-processed

Desert Photos taken on slide film and cross-processed

Jilly and the Goblins

No guns allowed!

Here's a video of the western show in Pioneer town. The acting bares a striking resemblance to Red, White, and Blaine (Waiting for Guffman for those you you sad sacks who don't know what I'm referring to.)



Compared to...


Here's a video of our hotel room during a moment where the television is saying something remarkable.

Desert odyssey part 1

I can't post pictures of everything yet on account of most of my picture were taken on film. I'll get them developed today.

Ok, after a pancake breakfast at Mariann's, we drove out to Pioneer Town. The town at the foot of Pioneertown had cute antique shops and exotic reptile stores. We were informed that Pioneertown had a Shootout Show. Enthusiastic, we went up to Pioneertown and ate at Pappy and Harriet's, a famous restaurant where country singers perform. Real country. The Shootout Show was inauthentic. The actors wore microphones and every so often a voice would come over the PA and say "Mic check 9" or something like that. It was only mildly rootin' tootin'.

We shoved off to Joshua tree where we found a curious place called Art Queen. It was a sort of outdoor/garage museum. There was an odd mixture of Jesus and homosexual art. Also, the man who lived there was building a stage for the burning man festival - a pagan desert festival where they build a giant man and then burn him. And there was a crochet museum in a trailer.






We went into Joshua Tree National Park to take a hike. It was beautiful! I took those pictures on film, so you'll see later. After we parked, we found this rattlesnake. I was a little nervous during our hike! But we saw all kinds of wonderful desert life- lizards and rabbits and odd plants. We had a running joke about the possibility that the snakes might try to trick us by posting a sign that said "Free ipods" next to a cave.




That night we played mini golf, visited a casino in Palm Springs, and slept at a hotel in Indio. The next day-- Salvation Mountain! Pictures to come.

funny or die

My friend Matt put me in his Funny or Die video. Funny or Die is a website where you post funny videos and then people vote it funny or die.

Church lobby

Barcade

Kim and Marianne

Eric

journey of self discovery

I've been having a superb memorial day weekend with glorious alone time. I've been going out by myself and spending time in my head or with my face in a book and sweet gypsy music in my ears. I spent the last of Nathan and Randi's itunes card on Fanfare Ciocarlia, Taraf de Hadouks, and Toni Iordache. Great stuff.

I've been feeling like I'm not sure what direction I want to take in terms of the arts. I love the arty things I do and I'm not sure I want to zero in on screenwriting anymore. I'd have more opportunity to share my creations with others if I focused on the simpler things. I'll still be screenwriting, though. I'm just giving myself permission to love doing other things.

Ok, earlier in the episode, Bret claimed that he liked to dance when he was angry. Here is his angry dance.

Stuff I'm into that you may or may not also be into. Whatever. It's not a big deal. We don't have to have everything in common.

RIght now I'm really into Flight of the Conchords (tv show) and Twilight (book) by Stephenie Meyer.



Twilight is a young adult vampire book that's being made into a movie. Today is my day off and I'm going to read twilight until my eyes cross and then clean my room and do some writing. It's shaping into a beautiful day! By the way, remember how I interviewed with the Los Angeles Public Library in February? I called them yesterday to find out the status. They are currently in a hiring freeze.

How well did Pa raise us? Real good.

brokens!

My DSL line is broken, so I'll be inconsistent in my internet communication for a while.

I've decided that my fate is to be a multi-media artist which I'm already doing, but I plan on adding live performance and music to my repertoire of podcast, writing, video, and drawing without drawing skill. Perhaps I should have a stage name. Any ideas?

recurring dream about academia

There are lots of recurring dreams, but there's one in particular that is an amalgamation of all my worst school nightmares.

I get a call and am told that I didn't finish part of High school. My high school diploma, my bachelor's, and my master's are all taken away and I have to go back to high school. I suddenly realized there are classes I should have been going to all along, but forgot to attend and today is the final exam. I have to get to school, but I keep getting lost while driving there. Once I'm there, I can't remember where my locker is, what the combination is, or how to use a combination lock. When I finally get to the class, I can't answer any questions on the exam, the teacher hates me, and I'm wearing a wet towel.

In real life, I've been planning a tea party at the library... and I've created a monster. So far, 80 people have RSVP'd so I finally just cut off the rsvp-ing. All week I've been having nightmares that 200 people show up, everything goes wrong, my boss is mad at me, and I'm wearing jeans. Coincidentally (or not), my boss also had a nightmare that everything went wrong and that she was mad at me. Awesome.

Here is the card I *almost* got mom for mother's day, but I called Alison and she told me not to.

Another 4th Grade Story: The Stupid Brain Surgeon

The brain surgeon fell of the bike. He had to get too the hospital in time. Or his brain would explode. He got stupider and stupider all the time. Every time he tried too get on his 20 weehler he fell. Finaly he came to his sensis and ran. Of course he kept stumbleing down. But did that stop him? NO! He got out on the rode to hichhike! He finaly got a ride. But he acted so stuped the woman only took him a quarter of an centimeter. So he got out and the car left him. So, he went doing flips down the rode. He finaly got to the hospital. He went to the room and the doctor said your so stupid none of the brain surgeons want to do it. But we will count down for you 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Then the brain surgeon blasted of in to space. The end.

Mental Archives: "A Doodle"

I'm fairly sure I picked the word "doodle" up from the movie Three Men and a Baby. I was very young and eating McDonalds at Grandma Peach's house. I had a chocolate shake and I kept picking up the straw and letting the brown glop drop back into the cup. Every time I let it ooze out of the straw I said "A doodle! ::snicker snicker snicker::"

Grandma Peach was not pleased.

Happy Jillian Day!

I do love that baby girl. Here, have a bananadog.


On Friday I had a party with some birthday friends. I also saw a woman on the freeway driving with her foot. One foot was on the pedals, one hand was holding a cigarette out to her right side, her left hand was hanging out the window, she was leaning back, and her other foot was on the steering wheel. To her credit, traffic was moving slowly, but I feel that doesn't quite justify the risk.

Today I hiked and had delicious breakfasts and got my computer back and recorded a cooking show for my podcast, coming soon!

Lo!

Both my phone and computer are now completely done. I got home from work last night and my computer wouldn't turn on at all. I'm fairly sure it's the unexpected answer to my prayers that I turn my attention towards God.

Shiny face dinner time

Thai food. 

4th grade story: Family Problems

I was rooting through some old things and I found some stories I wrote as a youngster. Hows about I type one up verbatim?

FAMILY PROBLEMS

Hi. My name is Lisa. My best friend is Jessica. I live at 2846 98th st. This is my little brother Micky. He drives me nuts. He inteups me when I am talking. When I have a friend over he shows off. He does his abcs. He is three years old. Then theres my mother. She is very beutiful in my opinen. It's as if she were a queen. And then my grumpy old stumpy father. He is ugly he smokes and he takes drugs. I'm almost afraid of him. 

And that's my family. My most problem of all is my little brother Micky. I was having my best friend Jessica over to spend the night. We were watching a movie. We had a lot of food. Popcorn, peanut brittle, pop, and a bunch of candy. You know how my brother shows off. He came in acting like he was a mumy. And since he couldn't see because his eyes were closed a he steped all over the food! Popcorn, peanut brittle, pop, and candy all over the floor! Of course we thought Micky would clean it up but Father made us clean up most of it! 

Thats only the problem with Micky wait till you hear other family Problems. Then my mother. We just had a big fun day together. When we got home she said she was going to take a nap in her room. I said I would go color a picture for her. When I got to my room I rememberd I left my crayons in my parents room. I peeked in to the room to see if she was asleep. She was siting in he chair looking in to the mear she reached up and took off her hair. I jumped back in horor and almost screamed! I ran into my room and began to cry! Still to this day mother does not know that I knew she was bald. 

And now my father. He sat down with a 12 pack box of beer to watch television. At about 12:49 at night I woke up hearing a noise I went down stairs to investagate I saw my father still in his chair the T.V. still on. My father sat not moving at all he was dead from watching too much t.v. I screemed in horor! OOOOOOOO! Everyone came down to see. We had his funeral three days later everyone was sad. 

THE END

I like how I said Micky was the biggest problem. Doesn't sound like it! And, Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, please remember history correctly and believe that this was a work of fiction!

News anchor mishap

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The library psycho abides

This morning,  our bookdrop had a special, meticulously wrapped package containing smaller meticulously wrapped packages containing peices of paper with nonsense either written or glued all over them. Whoever created this series obviously put a LOT of time into it and there's no way this person was healthy. In fact, much of the cut-and-pasted text appears to be from pamphlets about psychosis. Check it!

Easter Choir / The Kitchen is where food is born!

Here's the choir from Easter. I'm in the yellow dress. The fellow on the far left with the white shirt is the conductor. Fun!

I had lunch with a friend from Bloomington. I told him how library patrons ask questions in the most peculiar way; Without really trying to look on their own, they walk up to me and say "You don't have books on World War Two?" "You don't have cook books?" Why are they asking that way? My friend challenged me to just go with it next time. " We don't?! Oh, my gosh! We don't have books on World War Two? That doesn't sound right." Wonder if they'll believe me.

 

Panda with me

Please bare with me while I get this going. I don't have the necessary cable to get pictures up yet, but I will real real soon! Today was a great day off because I went record shopping and made a really good sandwich. Here is what was in the sandwich:

Sesame Bagel

Veganaise

Fake Sausage Patties

Fake Cheddar Cheese

Tomatoes

Grilled Onions

And it's getting to be so warm and beautiful here! I can hardly wait to touch the ocean.

First Entry

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